Here's to my first blog post of the spring 2018 semester. As many people actually do not know, I am struggling....hard. All my life I have been the perfect straight A student, college and AP courses freshman year of high school, two or more jobs at once, year-round sports, actively part of almost ten clubs (some being president or vice president), and so on and on. College is something different. Here I am.. a junior in college (senior on paper 151 credits *eye roll*). By this point, you're supposed to have everything figured out, right? I am afraid I do, but I don't. I can see the finish line and the end goal, but I don't feel like I'm moving towards it. My life is filled with constant setbacks. The second something goes right, two things go wrong. Life's funny actually. I feel like God gets a whole lot of laughs out of watching me. Here lately, I keep being reminded of that saying that goes something like "Tell God what your plans are, and watch him laugh in your face." College can be summed up just by that statement. You come on this university with high hopes, goals, and dreams. Some make it out while others don't. We all come to college with the mindset that we're doing something meaningful with ourselves and growing as a person. The whole idea of college is to better one's future. In this day and age, if you're not famous for entertainment, born into wealth, or something along those lines, you won't make it far in life. For many, the odds never seem in our favor. Notice I used "our" because I feel like that is where I belong. There are times where I feel as though the entire weight of the universe is resting on my chest and it's a little hard to breathe. Time and time again, people constantly say "You're the strongest person I know. I don't know how you do it." The answer is I don't. In the midst of being strong for everyone else, you forget to be or even know how to be strong for yourself. One of my flaws is that I don't know how to better myself because the best part of me is finding ways to better others. With that being said, I have made it my mission to spend this semester on myself. As I have recently gotten over a strong denial, I have come to the conclusion that I do not like asking for help. My pride and that feeling of accomplishing something on your own is so satisfying. It's a bragging right to say you met a goal by yourself. A part of me is like this because there's always that thought that "Oh, that black girl needs help. What a surprise." Believe it or not, people really think this way. People don't want to see you doing better than them. People are mad that I am where I am and trying to accomplish my dreams. But...let's get back to me because they'll hopefully get over themselves and do well one day. Something I am not proud of is I am on probation with the Honors College. This may not seem like a huge deal to others, but to me, it's pretty much life-threatening. See, I already tried coming to ETSU before, but it didn't work out because I, nor my family had the funds. The only reason I am at my dream school is all due to the Honors College and Midway Honors. Without this scholarship, I cannot stay here. If I cannot stay here, I don't know where I'll end up for my senior year of college or if I'll even return. So I've sucked up my pride. I've talked to almost everyone on campus I could about my situation (with the exception of Dr. Kornweibel because she's a hard woman to track down and to match schedules up with). The only option I have is to pour everything that I have into all of my classes and make sure I meet the 3.25 GPA requirement. This is not an easy task to take on. Microbiology, Physics 2, and Organic 2 may not have been the smartest decision. One of the three I have no doubt I can get an A in (@Physics 2). The other's........shooting for nothing less than a B+, but that seems about impossible when I'm currently failing both. Wow. This just turned into a huge rant. THIS IS MY SPRING 2018 PROPOSAL: I, SEANIA NICOLE OVERTON, PROPOSE THAT I WILL TAKE BETTER CARE OF MYSELF. I WILL CONTINUE TO SCHEDULE TUTORING APPOINTMENTS IN EVERY SUBJECT AT THE CFAA EVERY WEEK. I WILL STUDY AT ALL TIMES POSSIBLE. THERE WILL BE NO SUCH THING AS FREE TIME. I WILL NOT ONLY FOCUS ON MY SPRING CLASSES, BUT ALSO PREPARE FOR MY MCAT TEST ON MAY 5TH. I WILL BE ENROLLING IN THE FREE MCAT PREP COURSE GIVEN BY ETSU. I WILL CONTINUE TO GO OVER MY DIFFERENT MCAT SUBJECT BOOKS UNTIL I CAN RECITE THE WORDS WITHOUT EVEN OPENING IT. I WILL END THIS SEMESTER WITH MY HEAD HIGH AND PROPEL MYSELF INTO UTTER EXCELLENCE. IF I SHALL FAIL, I WILL KNOW THAT GOD IS THE ONE CONTROLLING MY FUTURE AND I AM JUST A PIECE TO HIS PUZZLE.
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Everyone at some point in life should allow time for relaxation. In this hectic world, an art museum may be just the right thing. The Reece Museum at ETSU is the perfect mix of amity and tranquility. Some structures provide art viewers to think inquisitively while others just provide a sense of peace and are appealing to the eyes. Thomas Merton once said that "Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time." Whether you're creating or admiring it, it is beyond simple to say that art can take someone's mind and soul on another adventure. Anyone who attends East Tennessee State University should take the chance to swing by the Reece Museum and definitely bring a friend or two (maybe their whole family and everyone they know) because every piece is different and every person may bring out a new aspect that someone else may not have seen.
My favorite moment of this semester has been the opportunity to volunteer in the pediatric emergency department (PEDS ED) at Johnson City Medical Center. On Monday evenings, I spend my time volunteering in the waiting room. My responsibilities are to “man” the podium and greet patients, general picking up and cleanliness of the waiting room, escort patients and family to treatment area and restrooms, and manage the overall flow of the PEDS ED. It has been a privilege to volunteer here and I find that I was placed in the right place. I will be returning there every Monday evening unless something interferes with scheduling.
For starters, you have to admit that that Jeep is pretty cute. Way back when I was a wee little child in elementary school, we used to do these daily journal entries. They were always random questions or something to make us think and/or reflect on life. It's wild to think that back then the main question was always "Where do you see yourself in 10-15 years?" Here we are. 10-15 years later. Are you doing what you said you'd be doing? I know I am and even more. So now that we've made it to this point, we should ask ourselves and put life into perspective by the simple question...Where do you see yourself in 10-15 years. I know the times have changed and honestly who even really knows if the world will still exist then. We could be blown up my North Korea tomorrow or even tonight! With all of that aside, answer this question. Right now I am 21 years old in 2017. In 10-15 years, I will be 31-36 years old (it's just simple math). Man, I'll be pushing 40 almost. Where does the time go? By that time, I will be a full-time family pediatrician which has been he goal from the beginning. Will I be married or have kids? Who knows because my true intentions in life are to get my education, establish a career, and provide financial stability for myself, but more importantly my mommy, siblings, and their kids. This is what I call successful. I know in class there was some disagreements on the idea of success. Some believe success if measured and made up by society and humans, but I certainly have to disagree. Every single person views success differently. Other meaningful and life values such as happiness, a good life and a useful life were thrown into the mix. Which one would you rather have more? I choose success. To me, all of these tie into my picture and image of success. When I am successful and able to give to my family as well as others (because let's be honest I LOVE giving and spending money that I don't have on others), I would have lived a happy, good, useful life. This is not to say I'm not doing so right now and I know money can't buy happiness, but I would be much happier if I had the money to give the people I love and the people around me what they deserve. I also want to blow $1,000,000 on Jeeps and food....but that time will come eventually. I wish to be thriving and continuing to grow as a person. My I never get comfortable in what I am doing in life. There is always more to be accomplished. This is the thought process I wish ever person had. Ambition is a way of life. I hope to one day inspire others to better themselves. One day, I want to be that person who is able to hand out scholarships to underprivileged youth who are like me. I want to give others the chance to break out of their financial circumstances and be given the chance to live out their dreams. We live in a society that allows the poor to remain poor and the "wealthy class" to remain on their high horses. In a melting pot, everything becomes the same once heat and pressure is added. We should be just as encouraging of other's goals as we are of our own. This is my goal for the future. This is what is set upon my life. I hope to be a voice to those who seek refuge or a turning point for those filled with and spewing hatred. While these are MY goals and MY plans, I have to remember that whatever happens is God's will. We can make all the goals we want, but it's not His plan for you, don't be surprised or become hostile when it fails and your path changes because new goals will be set. Whatever goals they may be, be successful in them. Know your limits and push past them into greatness.
This may be one of the hardest entries that I will ever have to write. On Tuesday, September 26th, I took my first Organic Chemistry exam. Prior to the exam, I spent the entire weekend studying as well as a few nights the week before. Exam time came and in my mind I was thinking "Wow, I could possibly pull off an A or B on this." There were a few that I didn't quite understand though, so I began to second guess myself. Nonetheless, I made the best educated guess on the ones that I did not know. I finished under forty-five minutes and proceeded out the classroom. I continued about my day feeling hopeful. I was just getting out of Intro to Public Health when I received an email from Abbas Shilabin that read "Dear Students: I just finished grading for your Exam1 and posted your grades to D2L. The average was 65.5%...All my best, Shilabin." Immediately my mind started racing like oh my gosh! The class average was only 65.5!! Oh no. What did I get!? Silly me began walking to my car and tried to pull up d2L. Thankfully it wasn't until I sat down that I read "Exam 1: 48%." Me. Seania Overton. Made a F? Failed a test? WHAT? I instantly started thinking that my future hopes and aspirations were over. Right then and there. I went on and acted like I hadn't seen it because I had more things to accomplish that day. For some reason, God just decided that collo would meet that day. This didn't feel like the average class meeting. It truly felt like a therapy session with everyone speaking and sharing their deepest views on values. It took everything in me not to bawl right then and there. "Pick eight views." "Okay, now cross out three." Crossing out three was the easy part. "Now, cross out two more." This left me with Family, Stability, and Grades. Okay, we're down to three values. No way he makes us narrow it down even more. "Cross out one more." This was was such a battle. I finally crossed out "Grades" because in my head I was seeing stability as financial security and well-being. It is not likely to get to stability without having an education. It is not likely to get a degree when you're making 48 on an exam that you need in your field of study. This is when it all hit me. I really started accepting that I was a failure. When I walked to my car from collo, I was fighting tears because people were around. I got in my car and started driving. There was no more holding back. Eventually, I put sunglasses on so other drivers didn't see me. Family and stability. It's my entire reason for existing. When a professor tells you "You need to do well on this first test because it only gets harder from here," and then you fail that first test, what should you expect? This was only the first exam and I had managed to fail the entire class. This just turned into a series of unfortunate events and a dreadful night for me. Failing the class means a lower gpa. A lower gpa would overall result in the loss of my scholarship. Loss of scholarship would mean no way to pay to finish my college education. No college education and a low gpa means no medical school. No medical school means no doctor, and no doctor means no money. No money means no stability. No stability means nothing to give back to my family who has lived from paycheck to paycheck their entire lives. Nothing to give back to a family that continues to give back to you means disappointment. Disappointment equates to failure. My biggest fear. All of this from a failed exam. It seems extra and over the top and even exaggerated, but to me, it is reality. As a first generation college student, the only thing that keeps me going is the end goal. In this life, it just so happens that my end goal and values intertwine. Family & Stability. To end off a lighter note, a rapper named 2Chainz (valedictorian of his class) once said "They ask me what I do and who I do it for." I've never related so much. Family & Stability.
If you're anything like me, you're thinking "What in the world is AMSA?" Funny you should ask because that's how I ended up here. AMSA stands for American Medical Student Association. It is exactly what the name says. This was AMSA's first meeting of the fall 2017 semester. We had actual medical school students from James H. Quillen speak to us about none other than medical school. During the meeting, we were introduced to our club officers as well as given the chance to introduce ourselves through an icebreaker. Majority of the students at this meeting had a major, minor, or concentration in Microbiology (including me!). Since my time here at ETSU, I have come to realize that every single club event you go to will have pizza. I mean, that's definitely not a reason to get involved on campus, but it is a plus.
I cannot believe that I legit saw Waka Flocka Flame. If I have to be honest though, he was a little disappointing. The acts leading up to him was just people playing today's hit songs and giving them a EDM mix. When he finally did come out, it was super late. I didn't even feel the need to stay the whole time. Once "No Hands," the song that was on every single athletic playlist since the sixth grade, played, I left and went to bed.
This night was filled with entertainment. Members of the Pan-Hellenic Council presented the audience with a step show to showcase the "Divine Nine." The files I uploaded are just small snippets of them stepping and strolling. I may or may not have shown interest in one of them ;). Stay tuned!
As promised, here is my first blog about one of many honors events there will be to attend. If it couldn't be seen by the pictures, rain was definitely in the forecast. This didn't stop anyone from showing up for free food and of course T-SHIRTS!!!!!!! Who can pass up a free t-shirt? I come from a town that has a t-shirt made for every single event or function, so ending my first week of classes off by a free t-shirt was delightful. While I enjoyed the tailgate prior to our season opener home football game against Limestone, I did not attend the game. I showed up at Ada Earnest Honors House decked out in my Alabama Crimson Tide attire. I love my ETSU Bucs, but nothing stands in the way of Saturday "Bama Ball."
On Monday, August 28th, 2017, I started a new chapter in my life at East Tennessee State University with these lovely people as Midway Honors Scholars. As part of my curriculum for my academic scholarship, I must attend a class known as Honors Colloquium. The main idea of this class is to get Honors College students involved in activities that they should already be doing. To keep you informed about my "honors collo" class as well as what is happening in my everyday life, here's my very first blog. Enjoy! -XOXO, SNO. |
-Seania Nicole Overton (SNO)Junior |